building relationships with parent-led-attachment Strategies

​Recommended reading:

The Connected Child: Bring hope and healing to your adoptive family, by Karyn Purvis, David Cross, and Wendy Sunshine. Written by two research psychologists specializing in adoption and attaclunen4 The Connected Child will help you: Build bonds of affection and trust with your adopted child, effectively deal with any learning or behavioral disorders, and discipline your child with love without making him or her feel threatened.
The Essential Link: Attachment and Bonding Information for Adoptive Parents by Susan Ward, Heritage Communications, 2001. Concise, easy-to-read summary of what attachment is, tips for creating a strong attachment, a description of RAD (reactive attachment disorder), and a list of resources.

 When Love is Not Enough by Nancy Thomas. Therapeutic parenting manual for dealing with challenging, defiant, rage-filled, and controlling children, especially those with RAD. Many parents of tough kids of this book as their bible."

 Our First Year Together: Hannah and Her Mama by Susan M. Ward, Heritage Communications, 1999. A behind-the-scenes look at a family in the making. Day by day entries
covering adjustment discipline, starting school, learning English, grief, and more. Honest and hopeful.

Parenting With Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay, Pinon Press. Considered by many to be the best parenting book ever! Teaches parents how to stay out of control battles. Discusses implementation of consequences that induce cooperation and growth.

20 Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Parents Knew by Sherrie Eldridge. Dell Books. 1999.

Adoptive parents need to know how their adopted children feel and think. This book provides a window into perspectives we may not have considered and is written by a psychologist who was adopted as a child.

Adopting the Hurt Child: Hope for Families with Special-Needs Kids by G. C. Keck and R.M.

Kupecky, Pinon Press. The book provides lots of case studies along with practical tips for adopting and adjusting to a child from a challenging background. Attachment is a major topic in the book.

Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today's Parents, by Deborah Gray. Written from a
reassuringly professional point of view, it's also full of vignettes that were easy to relate to. She clearly lays out the 7 stages of attachment, and makes it clear that there is no correct timetable for achieving each of them.

Help for the Hopeless Child: A Guide for Families (With Special Discussion/or Assessing and Treating the Post-Institutionalized Child) By Ronald Steven Federici.

The Whole Life Adoption Boole: Realistic Advice Jo, · Building a Healthy Adoptive Family, by Jayne E. Schooler and Thomas C. Atwood. The authors share insights into every aspect of adoption. This powerful resource addresses the needs and concerns facing adoptive parents while offering encouragement for the journey ahead.

Wounded .Children, Healing Homes: How Traumatized Children Impact Adoptive and Foster Families, by Jayne E. Schooler, Betsy Keefer Smalley, and Timothy J. Callahan. Psy.D.

Families often enter into this experience with high expectations for their child and for themselves, but they are broadsided by shattered assumptions. This book addresses the reality of those unmet expectations and offers validation and solutions for the challenges of parenting deeply traumatized and emotionally disturbed children.

Building the Bonds of Attachment by Daniel Hughes, PhD, Jason Aronson, 1998. This book explains the process of attachment, and provides a case study example of an older adopted child with attachment disorder.

Wounded Children Healing Homes: How Traumatized Children Impact Adoptive and Foster Families (by Jayne Schooler, Betsey Keefer Smalley and Timothy Callahan) and The Connected Child (by K. Purvis). Adoption staff and adoptive parents for older children should consider reading: Beneath the Mask: Understanding Adopted Teens (by Debbie Riley and John Meeks). 

A Child's Journey Through Placement by Vera I. Fahlberg (Feb 15, 2012) Nurturing Adoptions: Creating Resilience After Neglect and Trauma (by Deborah D. Gray).

Preventing Parent Burnout

Web link for: Trauma, Brain & Relationship: Helping Children Heal. This should be viewed by all perspective foster and or adoptive parents.

TBRI DVD web site:

Attachment Why it Matters is another great DVD from Dr. Purvis and Dr. Cross. It is located on the same web site. Both DVDs are great training resources for adoptive families.





Heather Forbs DVD web site for Beyond Consequences Live:

This is a great training for parents struggling with discipline issues.

Here is are five web pages you can sign up for email updates and get free material on adoption as well as helpful information you might share with families on parenting children with trauma history:

 M.D. Bruce D. Perry on Child Trauma:

Adoptive Family Magazine has several great articles for staff and families.

Resources for transracial adoption:

BEYOND CULTURE CAMP: Promoting Healthy Identity Formation in Adoption

Transracial Parenting in Foster Care and Adoption- Strengthening Your Bicultural Family. Free download available at:

Seven Tasks for Parents: Developing Positive Racial Identity by Joseph Crumbley D.S.W. available at:

Transracial issues in adoption at:

Adoption Attorney:

Denise Hyde
812 San Antonio Street, Suite 304
Austin, TX  78701
Fax: 512-476-4622

Parents should stay informed about what their children do and what is going on in their lives. Parents need to understand drug addiction and the damaging effects it has on teens. staff and parents should consider reading.

Adoption Support:

Recommended Reading:

Adoptive Family Magazine has several great articles for staff and families.